When it pertains to divorce, it often appears that everybody and their mother has an opinion on what you need to or should not do. We set the record straight on a few of the worst recommendations our experienced divorce lawyers have actually heard from clients.
Get over it and stop pitying yourself.
People going through a divorce require time to process and grieve and accept and recover. Part of that is having a few breakdowns. You are totally entitled. Be mad that it happened. Be overwhelmed. Be actually upset. You can even play the victim (but do stop eventually or your life will never ever recuperate). Pitying yourself is part of the mourning process in divorce, and if you go through that, you will begin to have the ability to proceed. Moving on is a lot much easier said than done. There are specific elements of your divorce that may take decades for you to let go. Moving on is different for everybody. When you do it is up to you.
Wait at least a year prior to dating after divorce.
The majority of people going through a divorce have been dissatisfied and felt alone/lonely for a long, long period of time. Simply put, they didn't simply get up and choose to get divorced. The issues probably began years previously. So, what are some factors individuals date? For companionship, friendship, fun ... and isn't really that best for someone in this situation? Should a person sit house alone and consider the divorce up until the one-year mark? Definitely not. If they choose to do so, that is completely easy to understand. But nobody ought to tell someone the length of time to wait before dating after divorce.
Half and half parenting time is bad for kids.
Said who? In some cases, 50/50 parenting is fabulous for the children. It is exactly what they require. In other cases, 50/50 parenting is a disaster! Either the children are too young, or the moms and dads live too far away, or there are other factors why a various parenting schedule would work better. Parenting schedules should be made based upon the specific truths of each case.
Joint custody just works if the parents get along.
This one holds true, but only partially. Yes, joint custody requires parents to be able to interact for the children. However you do not have to get along on whatever in order to make joint custody work. You simply have to have the ability to interact with each other and agree on exactly what pertains to your kids.
Mediation takes longer than duking it out in court.
This is a flatout lie. Can mediation take a long time? Sure. Are there cases which are fixed in mediation in a couple of sessions? Absolutely. While stats vary commonly, all the statistics I have ever seen state that solving your case through divorce mediation is quicker than resolving it in court.
Happily ever after is just for movies.
Do not believe this one. I've seen enough real people who got divorced and are now really, actually delighted. It didn't take place overnight, and individuals probably truly dealt with themselves and made great choices, didn't rush into things. But fairy tales are still feasible. Believe that. If you desire it, you can have it too.
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